Cunts Corner

There are only two kinds of people in this world...Dogs Cunts and Soupy's Cunts


Dogs Cunts
Here's a few people we've come across in our adventures that stand out as Dogs Cunts:

Dozy Cunt
Subject:        	Dogs Directory
To:             	iwanttohaveanaudition@somedogs.co.uk
From:           	dogs@qozi.com
Send reply to:  	dogs@qozi.com


Hello there,

My name is Adrienne Goldsmith and I contact you because
I think that our sites are compatible and I would like
to exchange links with your site
http://www.somedogs.co.uk/members.html.

My site's url is: "qozi.com/dogs". It is dogs related
and contains different resources about this subject.

So, if you would like to exchange links with me you
have to submit your site's info at:
http://www.qozi.com/dogs/form.html and you will see
your link up on our site within a week.

Also this is the information that you can use in
order for you to link back to us:

Title: Dogs Directory
URL: http://www.qozi.com/dogs/
Description: dogs related news, books and web resources

or just cut & paste this HTML


Dogs Directory
- dogs related news, books and web resources.

Best wishes, Adrienne Goldsmith


Carlton Screen Advertising
From:           	MAILsweeper@carltonscreen.com
To:             	jim@somedogs.co.uk
Date sent:      	Fri, 28 Jun 2002 16:06:30 +0100 (BST)
Subject:        	RE:Dogged up. {01}


The email sent to our company from this address has been
scanned and either profanity or inappropriate materials
were detected.  Please be advised that if Carlton Screen
Advertising continues to receive email containing
inappropriate material from this address it may lead
to our mail administrator contacting the senders email
service provider or barring any further communications to
this company from this address.

If you have any queries regarding this please
email them to the address listed below

Many Thanks
postmaster@carltonscreen.com

The email was sent from:
jim@somedogs.co.uk
and was addressed to:
xxx@carltonscreen.com


Compass Group
From:           	postmaster@compass-group.co.uk
To:             	jim@somedogs.co.uk
Date sent:      	Fri, 28 Jun 2002 16:02:31 +0100 (BST)
Subject:        	RE:Dogged up. {01}


Your message with subject "Dogged up. {01}" has been blocked
due to profane message content.


If this message is of a urgent nature and need to be
release A.S.A.P.
Please contact the Network Support Department

     0121 457 5041 - Chi Wong
     0121 457 5042 - Juan-Carlos Frietman

Alternately send a request via email to
chi.wong@compass-group.co.uk or
jc@compass-group.co.uk



Yellow Hair
From:       Jake Holloway
To:         somedogs@somedogs.co.uk
Subject:    RE: Don't forget Some Dogs gig tonight!
Date sent:  Fri, 19 Apr 2002 16:14:57 +0100
Jim (you juvenile tosser) why don't you stop fucking about doing stuff for that shite band of yours during office hours (and using company equipment) and do some fucking work like what I am paying you for you poxy fat cunt! And that goes for you too Mr Bird! And my hair is not yellow, it's blonde you ginger (as in both carrot-headed AND gay) south london slag (or you would be if you could ever persuade any of your homeless druggie fans to sleep with you!) Best Regards, Your Boss


Jennie
From:        JCUSTOMCLOTHES@aol.com
Date sent:   Thu, 4 Apr 2002 07:20:20 EST
Subject:     Re: Some Dogs play West End this Saturday
To:          somedogs@somedogs.co.uk


In a message dated 04/04/02 02:46:59 Pacific Standard Time,
jim@somedogs.co.uk writes:

"unsubscribe keepmeinformed@somedogs.co.uk"

I don't appreciate the swearing in your ad. it's not
necessary.

David Arnold Cooper
From:                   msweep@dac.co.uk
To:             	jim@somedogs.co.uk
Date sent:      	Thu, 4 Apr 2002 11:50:42 +0100 (BST)
Subject:        	Message Rejected

MESSAGE REJECTED

Davies Arnold Cooper's MIMESweeper software has analysed
the content of your email message. The contents have been
compared against a thesaurus of inadmissable words and the
email has failed the test.

For Further information please email daclon@dac.co.uk
or call 0207 293 4079

The message was sent from  jim@somedogs.co.uk  to the
following: xxxxxx@xxx.xx.xx

Paul
To:             jim@somedogs.co.uk
From:           "PAUL IRVINE" social.insecurity@amserve.net
Subject:        FUCK OFF!!
Date sent:      21 Mar 2002 17:27:59 +0000

hell-o AGAIN jim,I thought i told you before, I AM NOT
FUCKING INTRERESTED IN YOUR POXY BAND!! Further-more
I am NOT some stupid little" FAN "of any band/ thing
like you are so obviously used to dealing with, I leave
that kind of shit to the braindead " normal" people out
there. I tried to tell you politely the last time, but
obviously you thought I was joking or something, so
please take me off your mailing list, unless of course
you have something interesting to say!!.....PAUL

P.S How would you like it if I bombarded you with every
little trivial thing Social Insecurity did, EH?

Simeon
Date sent: Fri, 30 Nov 2001 08:51:53 +0100
Subject:   Re: [keepmeinformed] Dublin Castle
           Gig coming next Saturday
From:      "Simeon Banner" simeon.banner@virgin.net
To:        somedogs@somedogs.co.uk

there's a lot of "fucks" in this message. Why so?



Soupy's Cunts



For those of you so ignorant you don't already know, Soupy's definition of a cunt goes like this "I object to the word "cunt" being used an an insult, although it's fine to use it as a compliment."

Yes, that's right, Soupy's Cunts are nice cunts, Our Kind of Cunts, if you like.

Here are a few we'd like to mention:

Poor Paw Dawg
From: Bald Dave
To: jim@somedogs.co.uk
Subject: An apology....

Jim Dog,

It would appear that I misled you....

Hank Williams did not write or even perform
'There Stands THE Glass' although he probably
should have. He died before it was written!

It was written by Audrey Greisham (Wife of
Webb Pierce who recorded the original version)
Russ Hall and Mary Jane Schurtz in 1953 - I can
only assume that I heard it at during a Hank
Williams session around at my mates one
evening - I blame the drugs....

The track does not fit into your 'cheesy' country
ethic either, so you probably wouldn't do it
anyway - A shame really; I could be your Lame Dog!
(or perhaps Poor Paw Dog?) If you're interested
(probably not) my lame right is a result of an
accident with a steer - I steered my motorcycle
into a parked car!

The Strong Boy is DEFINITELY a Gram Parsons track
- I understand what you mean about the body not
being cremated properly - very silly, very dangerous!
You got to stick a sharp pointy thing in and make sure
the juices run clear or you could end up ill!

All The Breast,

BaldDave

Ps. I probably don't need to tell you that a dog is
not just for Christmas....It's a fucking great position
all year round!!!

Kerree
Cunt of the month. May 2003.
Date sent:    Sun, 13 Apr 2003 18:34:10 +0100 (BST)
From:         kerree mulqueen
Subject:      some dogs some fan some jump
To:           Jim Dog


Hi - I was lurking about in New Zealand and I thort
if I'm going to go out screaming I want to take Some Dogs
over the edge with me, thort you'd all appreciate the
sentiment, tee hee.


DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME


Shame you can't hear the screams that went with
this picture, some 3 seconds later, fuckin hell!


Really hope you get a London gig soon or we'll
have to track you down, it's been a long,
cold winter (well not for me 'cause I've just
spent 3 months in New Zealand ha ha ha)
(not that I'm gloating).


Anyway, see you all in hell if not b4, love kerree
(and Hi from Richard)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Naked Cowboy
From:           	"Naked Cowboy"
To:             	jim@somedogs.co.uk
Subject:        	Re: Me & you in Time Square
Date sent:      	Wed, 21 May 2003 17:23:46 -0400

Jim, like the photo on the site, thanks and take care
and keep rockin' Naked Cowboy

Helen (Rambling Cunt Category)
From:           	Helen
Date sent:      	Tue, 4 Feb 2003 07:59:00 EST
Subject:        	A proper e-mail for a change
                    instead of some forwarded trash
To:             	jim@somedogs.co.uk


Hello geezer,


Fucked up royally on your HItchin date, didn't I?
I thought I was on an early shift the next day
(which means, joy oh joy, being up at 4am) and
with my bike being knackered as usual, not to
mention the shit weather and a depression in the
wallet dueto payday being just out of reach,
someone else's car seemed the only option.
Preferebly with the same someone else driving it.


Alas, all my mates with transport who had expressed
an interest in the past were away or busy. So I
thought bollocks, I'll just have one down my local
and watch Cerberus, Luton's finest 70's heavy rock
combo in a half arsed attempt to cheer myself up,
(Cerberus, I think, was a mythcal dog from the
Greek legends, so that at least seemed some sort
of comfort, being some sort of a dog (boom boom),
but I've possibly got that totally wrong, having
a brain like a landfill site).


Anyway, speaking of getting things wrong, I
self righteously headed off to work the next day,
having shelled out seven bloody notes for a cab,
as there's no sensible transport that time of day
on a Sunday, only to be greeted by my supervisor
with "What the fuck are you doing here, your not
on 'til mid-day?"

Later on when I eventually arrived back home
again after finishing at the correct time, my
mate John from The Sons of the Soil rang up.
I mentioned the days disasters, including the
disappointment of missing you lot, only to hear
his reply "Why didn't you let me know, I've
wanted to see them for ages"

With that, good sir, I'd like to nominate
myself for Cunt of the month, even though
the post has already been taken.

gOr
From:               gOr
To:             	somedogs@somedogs.co.uk
Subject:        	RE: Dogged up. {01}
Date sent:      	Wed, 3 Jul 2002 11:02:22 +0100


soRRy I couldn't make it
I was gigging in east Germay at a fucking bull shit hippy
techno festival in the middle of Nazi support land and got
burnt so bad I spent time in hospital hope attached pic
will do instead of sick note
gOr
PS thanks for the CD's

Catherine
From:       "Ralph, Catherine (C.)"
To:         "'howdy@spillingwhiskey.co.uk'"
Subject:    RE: Some Dogs play Spilling Whiskey this Friday
Date sent:  Tue, 16 Apr 2002 07:51:43 -0400


I'll be there....with my tail between my paws !

Kitty Kittenberg XX
Miowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Regards
Catherine Ralph,


Robert
From:           	"robert hiles"
To:             	jim@somedogs.co.uk
Subject:        	OI! Cunt features . . .
Date sent:      	Fri, 22 Mar 2002 09:25:17 -0800

Twat. here's my new e-mail address,
delete xxxxxx.xxxxx@xxxxx.xxx.

Might see you on Saturday but it seems you're all getting
a bit too big for your fucking boots right now, and I might
be feeling a bit iconoclastic, so keep your heads down.

Later. And it was your turn to call.


Clive
From:       "Clive Smith"
To:         jim@somedogs.co.uk
Subject:     Re: (Fwd) FW: Some Dogs at the Windmill
Date sent:   Fri, 15 Feb 2002 11:40:57 -0000

Jim,
I am coming to the gig, but it's tomorrow not tonight.
I respectfully suggest you drink rather less, as you
must be in a fair old state if you don't know when
your own gig is.

I will have a word with you both, but as you are in
the band you shouldn't be difficult to identify.
More of a challenge would be if you try to identify me.
Perhaps you and Mr. Bird would like to put a small
wager on it e.g. whichever of you identifies me first,
wins a drink off the other one. As a clue, I am skinny
with a Charles Manson-style beard and glazed eyes.
Also, I am really far too old to be attending events
of this nature, as you and Mr. Dog also appear to be.

Perhaps you could confer with Mr. Bird and let me
know if you will be having a wager between yourselves.
Though, of course, I wouldn't want to distractyou from
your roles as master musicians.

Clive



Beth
From:        "beth smmith"
To:          somedogs@somedogs.co.uk
BCC to:      Date sent:Fri, 12 Oct 2001 16:23:33 -0230

Hey!!
I was just wondering if you had any badges that you could
send me that you have laying around! Or even buttons would
be awesome. Anything that I can put on my pants. I would
be proud to sew more bands onto my famous pair of punk
pants. I would appreciate it soooo much. Anything you
could send me would be awesome. Ska or punk bands never
have patches at their shows and I love to collect them.
Email is xxxx.xxxx@xxxxxxx.xxx
Please contact me
Thanks a lot
Beth :>



Kare
From:           	"Pirjo Leivo
To:             	iwanttohaveanaudition@somedogs.co.uk
Subject:        	Mother Goose
Date sent:      	Fri, 24 Aug 2001 23:28:50 +0300

Heiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

How are you?

Thanks for the Windmill gig! Hope to see you guys again!!
Come here, fucking Finland is open.
Stupidooo life,I prefer country!

Kare / mother goose